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he remembers frantically calling home, but the lines were dead. suddenly, he was out on the cold street, scrambling to find someone who could help him. his first attempt to communicate with someone failed: hes wondering what was that look on their face, marks recalls. his mother finally made it home, and marks began to tell her what had happened, but too late: he was already in the past, perhaps dead in the future.
as the experience continued to unfold, it grew more overwhelming. marks started to hear his life in segments -- his study time and walk home from school were interrupted by the flashbacks, which lasted from a few minutes to as long as an hour at a time. some days, he was fine; others, he was struck by episodes that were, by his own admission, terrifying. during one, he found himself lying on a couch in an empty apartment, feeling very alone. the memories started to blend together, and it dawned on him that he was on a train.
the next day, marks goes back to his therapist, dr. jackson. eventually, marks recalls, he began to tell his mother what was happening, but for reasons he still cant quite understand, she became frightened and took his troubles to the police. a few days later, marks was sitting at home with his therapist. he described the same series of flashbacks that he had been having for weeks and began telling jackson about a recurring sense of deep sadness. (later that evening, marks would go downstairs to the kitchen, where he walked past his grandmother, who had appeared in another form. she was making a cake and told him she was fine.) marks told jackson that he was haunted by the idea that he was never going to be happy; that life had no meaning. 84d34552a1
2 years ago